


A Bit Confused, a Little Bit Bruised

by NiniAtTheYAC



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Everything I write ends up sadder than I meant for it to be but this ones still pretty cute, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Love, shhhh don't tell him you love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 13:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiniAtTheYAC/pseuds/NiniAtTheYAC
Summary: Slight manipulation of the timeline, after the school day in 3x08, Gilbert and Anne babysit Dellie while Bash leaves overnight to pick up his mother, Anne is torn between her growing feelings for Gilbert and the awareness that he is spoken for.Based on a Tumblr suggestion/request for some domestic Shirbert. Not gonna lie, it ended up less fluffy than I intended, but I have some ideas...The title is adapted from a line in Ingrid Michaelson's song 'You and I'
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Winifred Rose
Comments: 18
Kudos: 214





	A Bit Confused, a Little Bit Bruised

Anne wasn’t sure how she ended up here. The night before the Queen's exams, at the Blythe-Lacroix, watching Dellie with Gilbert. It felt oddly like playing house with him, and after the comments made by their classmates at the study session today, it was a little hard for Anne to stomach. 

Bash’s mother was going to be coming to live with them, and Bash had told Anne that he would be gone for the night. Coming back with her in the morning, so Anne was spending the evening with Gilbert watching Dellie so that the two of them could share the responsibility while also studying together. And then Gilbert could handle Dellie through the night since she was old enough to sleep nearly all the way through. 

For now, the three of them were seated at the kitchen table, Anne feeding Delphine her early evening bottle while Gilbert worked and quizzed her. They had agreed that once she was done, Dellie would likely sleep for a while and they would cook and eat dinner together, then they’d study until she woke. Anne realized that her arm was beginning to strain under the weight of the infant. 

“I can hardly believe how big she’s getting.” Anne said wistfully, “It’s strange to me to think that neither of my parents ever saw me at this age.” Gilbert looked up from his textbook to give her a somewhat incredulous look. “I know, it’s morbid.” She said with an apologetic smile.

“No, it’s just…” Gilbert seemed at a bit of a loss for words. “I was surprised. You don’t talk about them, or any of it really, very often.” Anne tried not to notice the warmth in his eyes. 

“I guess Dellie just is a reminder of it all. I care about her so much, and it hurts me that she is yet another child without her mother.” 

“Compared to you, Dellie really is very lucky,” Gilbert said, with a knowing look. Anne found it hard to look him in the eye, remembering the day of his father’s service with some pain. 

“Well-” Anne cut herself off, remembering Diana’s words from their fight. ‘Anne Shirley-Cuthbert and her tragical tale of woe!’ Her eyes stung suddenly.

“Oh, Anne,” Gilbert said, reaching towards her. “I’m sorry. I only meant to remind you of it because I never had the chance to apologize to you all those years ago. You had every reason to remind me of how lucky I was, in spite of the pain, and you were right too, I do have so many wonderful memories with my father.”

Anne was comforted by his words, but her heart still ached and she realized that she really needed to talk about the fight she and Diana had been through, but she had no one to talk about it with. “Diana and I got in a fight. She said I’m always the victim of my tragical tale. I’m too easily hurt.” Anne said softly.

Gilbert seemed genuinely saddened for her, “You had a difficult start in life, yes, but you do not wear it on your sleeve as others might. It is simply your armour.” Anne thought it was very generous of him to give her that much credit. “I wondered what had happened. I noticed you both were without your necklaces.” Anne was surprised that he would notice such trivial things about her, but she decided not to mention it. 

“It has been a trying couple of days, that’s for sure.” Anne couldn’t look him in the eye while she spoke. It wasn’t just her fight with Diana that had made her recent days difficult, obviously. It was Diana, and Gilbert, and the impending exams, and thinking about how lovely Miss Winifred was, and wishing she could stop thinking about Gilbert with Winnie hanging on his for the rest of all their natural lives. 

“Anne?” Gilbert’s voice shook her out of her revery. She jumped a bit, eyes connecting with his, “Hm?” She said. 

“You just looked about a thousand miles away.” Anne was so frustrated with Gilbert and his stupid, neverending, kind smile. “I’m sure that you and Diana will work everything out. I’ve never known any friends who cared for each other as much as the two of you.” 

“I hope you’re right.” She said, trying to sound optimistic. Anne looked down to see that Dellie’s drinking had slowed down, her eyes were drooping heavily, and Anne couldn’t help but feel a calm fog settle over her at the sight of an innocent and sleepy baby. She took the bottle from Dellie’s mouth and bounced her for a moment. Anne had decided that she must want nothing more than to be the bride of adventure, and have a career of her own, but for just this moment she let herself imagine that maybe someday she would be a mother. 

‘Maybe in another lifetime,’ Anne thought with a sigh. She laid Dellie in her lap over her crossed legs, and stroked the infant with a gentle finger from her forehead, down the bridge and to the tip of her nose, repeating the motion slowly. Anne felt momentarily nostalgic for the days when she did this for the Hammond’s babies. It never failed to lull even the most finicky infant to sleep, and Dellie was no exception. 

“You’ll be a great mother someday.” Gilbert said with soft fondness dripping from his voice, “You’re a natural.” Anne felt as if he had just reached inside her chest to tear her heart out, but she tried not to let it show. 

She shook her head softly without looking at him, “I can’t have children.” She looked up to find a surprised written on Gilbert’s face. “To pass on my horrid red hair on to a perfectly innocent soul would be a crime against humanity.” She smiled so that he would know she wasn’t speaking entirely in earnest. He laughed for a moment, but soon grew serious once more, “It would be a crime against humanity if you didn’t pass that hair down to any kin.” 

Anne could hardly believe that he would make such a bold statement, and truthfully, he seemed a bit surprised at himself. Gilbert held her gaze, his eyes growing heavy with emotion and intensity, and she felt herself being pulled in by him. ‘Winifred!’ Anne screamed at herself in her mind, ‘he is intended for Winifred! Not you. It was never going to be you.’ 

“Well,” Anne said trying to come back to herself and escape his magnetic pull. “At least the world can expect to find more children on it that have your ridiculous mop of curls.” Gilbert shook his head, reddening at her pretend insult. Though, Anne in some ways was deathly serious. What a shame it would be if the world never saw another precious, curly-haired, Blythe baby. 

‘Okay, Anne walk away,’ she told herself. Anne stood up, excusing herself to lie Delphine down in the next room. She took her time with laying the infant down, Anne needed a minute to breathe and think without Gilbert’s endlessly intense gaze following her. 

When she returned to the kitchen, Gilbert had put aside the schoolwork and was getting out food for them to prepare dinner. Anne’s stomach flopped involuntarily at the domestic sight, Gilbert standing in his warm and comfortable home, getting ready to make supper, rolling up his sleeves to keep them clean. She was stunned into stillness for a moment. ‘This,’ Anne thought ‘What a beautiful life this could be. Gilbert and babies and family dinner and education and love’. Her head hurt and she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“You alright?” Gilbert asked from across the room. Anne looked up to find concern in his gaze. 

“Of course. Just tired, that’s all.” Anne tried to sound natural. She came up beside him to help with the cooking. 

“How about I cook then?” Gilbert said.

“What?”

“You’re tired. I can cook. You supervise and we can visit while I work.” Anne wanted to contradict him, but the idea of him voluntarily, domestically, caring for her was just too tempting.  
Anne agreed and sat down with a contented sigh. 

Gilbert got to work, and they quickly found that there was a lot for them to catch up on. Gilbert cut up potatoes, celery, and onions while Anne told him about Marilla’s mix-up which had lead to her folly and the cake disaster at the fair. While he prepared the chicken, Anne gave him pointers on how to best cut out bones without destroying the meat, then Gilbert remembered Anne’s question about reproduction at church several weeks ago and found that he just had to ask. Anne laughed and blushed. Gilbert placed all of his work into the oven, and put water in the kettle, while Anne filled him in on all of the ridiculous things that Charlie had said and done as of late. 

“I did notice the two of you dancing together at the fair.” He remarked, still grinning from her theatrical retelling of Charlie’s dancing inabilities. Anne felt a sudden ice in her veins.

“I’m surprised. I think everyone in Avonlea thought you only had eyes for Winifred that evening.” Anne winced, she had only meant it in jest, but it came across as a harsh accusation. “I’m sorry, that’s not fair of me. It’s only proper that you should be so devout to her.” 

Gilbert had a perplexing look on his face, it seemed he was having an entire conversation within himself, and lord knows Anne has never been good with silence so she began to fill it. “Anyway, she is so beautiful. She seems like the kind of woman who is right even when she’s wrong, whereas I am the kind of girl who is wrong even when I’m right. Not that I’m anything to compare with her! She will make such a lovely wife. I mean, if that’s what you and she want. I know Avonlea gossip gets ahead of itself sometimes, and have you seen Moody and Ruby as of late? Thank goodness for small miracles, Ruby would not have taken your engagement very well even six months ago when she still believed that-” Anne realized that she had said FAR too much. She looked up at Gilbert to see how much damage had been done but found only a fond smile on his face. Her heart constricted. 

“I’m listening.” He said, “Moody and Ruby, engagement, all of that, go on.” They both laughed at their shared ridiculousness. And then Anne remembered yet another thing which made her laugh even harder. 

“Do you remember shortly after I got here, the Gillis's house fire?” Anne choked on her own laughter. “Remember when we brought all of you biscuits while you were working? And Ruby fell! I know it’s terribly wicked to laugh at other’s embarrassment, especially being so prone to embarrassing myself, but it was terribly funny!” Gilbert laughed with her. 

“You are right on every account, but especially the last. Maybe it’s a good thing that Billy was there that day to be a dreadful jerk. He probably saved both of us from laughing and hurting Ruby’s feelings excruciatingly.” 

“Good God, you’re right!” Anne exclaimed, “I think this is the closest I’ve ever come to being grateful to Billy Andrews for anything! Ever.”

“You and me both,” Gilbert said. Their laughter died down, leaving behind warm, nostalgic, smiles. Neither of them knew how to look away from the other. Luckily, the world knew how to end their moment. Simultaneously, the kettle began to boil and Delphine began to cry from the other room. Anne sighed, “I’ll serve tea and dinner, you get the baby.” she said, both of them standing with smiles, before realizing how terribly domestic it sounded. “I mean Dellie, I- Bash’s baby, and I’ll get our, or- I will- ugh”

Both of them blushed, but Gilbert put her out of her misery, “I know what you meant Anne.” He said exiting the room so that she could die of embarrassment in private.

Gilbert returned several minutes later with a freshly changed and content baby, to a table nicely and simply set for supper. Anne still felt unnaturally shy sitting at the table while he settled back in with Delly on his knee. They tucked into their meal without a word. 

After a moment Anne had to tell him, “Bash doesn’t give you enough credit. You’re not a bad cook.” 

“‘Not bad’ is not exactly a glowing review, but it’s certainly more than I’m about to get from Bash.” Gilbert might try to sound slightly offended, but she could see in his face that he was gratified by her comment. Dellie cooed, they ate, and again it struck Anne how naturally familial this all was. She tried to think of Winifred, but all she could do was imagine a world in which she and Gilbert could stay like this. Together, and content.

After they finished eating, Gilbert settled Dellie to play on the floor for a bit, so that they could do the dishes. He washed, and Anne dried while keeping an eye on the baby. He set down a wet cup and she reached for it without averting her gaze from the infant and accidentally ended up grabbing his hand. Embarrassed, Anne moved to pull her hand away, but Gilbert caught it. She held her breath and felt the sparkling energy of their contact wash over her. 

“Gilbert?” She said after a long moment. 

“Anne.” He sounded breathless, and she had never been more confused. Finally, he seemed to wake up again and let go of her with a mumbled apology. They finished the dishes and he set up to feed Dellie her final bottle of the night while Anne studied and quizzed him one final time. 

At the table she meant to study, she needed to work, but all she could do was steal glances of Gilbert. His hands were most mesmerizing to her. Holding onto an infant with gentle confidence, he already looked the part of a proud father. And his hands, they were different somehow. He didn’t have a boy's hands anymore, he had the hands of a man. Veined, long, and strong. They were the kind of hands that looked ready to have a ring put onto them. Prepared to hold crying infants and caress a woman. Hands that were ready for long days of hard work. Gilbert. He wasn’t a boy anymore. He was a man, and somehow she was only just realizing it. Did this mean she wasn’t such a girl anymore either? Anne wondered, but the image of Winifred was enough to put her back in her place. She was certainly still a girl. Just a girl.

Anne was in such a daze of her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed Gilbert put down the bottle and Dellie beginning to nod off for the night. “She’ll sleep better for longer if we stay with her for a bit at the end of the night.” Anne looked up at him in surprise. 

“We?”

“Oh- I meant, er- well, I guess.” Gilbert cleared his throat, clearly flustered. “I meant Bash or myself, but I’m sure she’d love if you joined us.” 

So Anne did just that. And there they were, she and gilbert and the baby. Gilbert held Delphine, rocking, and humming and trying out Anne’s soothing methods by running his finger gently down her nose. It worked like a charm, and he placed the angelic baby into her basket. 

Anne and Gilbert stood side by side, watching her peaceful slumber. Anne’s eyes began to sting, “It’s hard to believe we all started out so small, and innocent. I would give anything to go back to a time before I had made all of my mistakes.” She said.

Gilbert sighed softly, “Well, you always figure out a way to make things right, so I’d say you have nothing that should require time traveling to undo.”

Anne could feel him looking at her, she wanted more than anything to turn her head but knew that if she did their faces would be terribly close together and it seemed quite improper to have romantic moments in front of babies. And it was probably even worse to have romantic moments with someone who was intended for another person. ‘Winifred,’ Anne mentally reminded herself, ‘that is who gets him. Not you’. She couldn’t turn her head, but Anne couldn’t hold in the thought that had been fluttering through the back of her mind all evening. 

“You are going to be a wonderful father someday, Gilbert.” Anne heard his sharp intake of breath. “I’ve been around plenty of Fathers, even if none of them were my own, I know the difference. You are the kind of man who will be a wonderful and loving parent.”

“Anne,” Gilbert whispered, and she imagined that he wanted her to look at him, but she couldn’t look at him and risk letting him see all of the love and hurt that she knew was shining in her eyes. Anne backed up from the basket to sit on the plush loveseat, Gilbert did the same and the cushions shifted under his weight pulling her just a bit closer to him. ‘Loveseat,’ Anne thought, ‘what a strange name for a small couch’. 

“Thank you for all of your help tonight,” Gilbert whispered. 

“Your welcome.” She said, with a yawn. “We should get back to that last quiz so that I can get back to Green Gables.” 

“You’re right,” Gilbert said softly, but neither of them made any move to get up, both of them worn out from stress, and work, and the pain of trying to understand and guard their hearts. After a time, Anne heard Gilbert’s breaths even out and lengthen, she snuck a glance in his direction and found his eyes closed, leaning into the back of the seat with his head tipped slightly back. ‘I think I love him,’ she thought, and finally, just a few tears slipped from her eyes. Anne wanted to reach out, to wake him up and scream at him, and claim him, and have him, but she knew that she couldn’t. ‘Winifred?’ she thought, ‘Just one evening? Can I have him just for now? Just this once? I just want to lie with him so that I can feel at peace for a moment, and then you can have him for the rest of our lives, I promise’. Anne wished that she could appreciate how tragical it all was, but heartbreak was a lot less beautiful that it sounded in books. Tentatively, Anne rested against his left side, laying her head on his chest in the crux of his shoulder and neck. Her eyes closed. Anne thought that she might feel anxious laying this close to him, but instead she found that she was completely at ease. Gilbert sighed and shifted a bit, not quite asleep, his arms wrapped around her and his head rested on top of her own. All Anne could do as she drifted between wake and sleep was hope that this one night in his arms would be enough to last her the rest of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this ended up sort of heartbreaking??? But I'm thinking maybe this needs to either be a series or just needs more chapters, all based on different lines from Ingrid Michaelson's song 'You and I' and getting progressively happier and more domestic??? Cause the song's pretty freaking cute and I think it could make some nice fluff. Does anyone have thoughts? Let me know!


End file.
